Twins Pitcher Heckles Advice

My last post was how the Twins are looking to be terrible again next year. With that, I have searched high and low for ways to make our opponents weaker since we obviously won't be stronger - I want to narrow the talent gap. How?

Through insults. I've found "The Big List of Pitcher Heckles" and I propose the Twins use these to get into the minds of the opposing pitcher. We need as many baserunners as possible, in hopes that those runners turn into runs.

Here are some of my favorite Heckles:

- He's going to take you so deep, you'll think you're a Chilean miner
- Check the roster, you might be left-handed
- Dick Cheney has better aim
- I hope you got your degree
- I could time your fastball with a calendar
- The UMP could steal on you

Do you have any heckler favorites? Comment them! We need all the help we can get.